S2 Ep 20: For the Love of Woo

In this episode, Tammy and Jenn talk about loving yourself, aspectology and Jenn shares briefly about her history of trauma and what "qualifies" her to talk about healing from trauma. (While Jenn does not disclose detail about her sexual traumas, if you are sensitive to that topic, please know that it does come up.)  Also, in this episode, listener question of the day: What type of soup are you? 

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Transcript

Jenn: Hey, everybody. I'm Jenn. 

Tammy: And I'm Tammy. 

Jenn: And they call us Woo!

Tammy: Welcome back, everybody. Today, I am starting out with this story.  ‘Cause we are going to talk about things that processes I guess, we're going through right now in connecting with and discovering ourselves and moving through this life as we are given it. So I have been on this whole journey where I feel like it's, I've lived a million lifetimes in probably about a year in a, in a very beautiful way. I mean, whether or not you describe the experiences good, bad or in-between, it was all just like it's been a beautiful experience. So as I’m moving through all of these different phases of what I feel like are good release, creating more space for the things that I want to bring into my life, I'm also working on allowing a lot of release. And part of that process for me has been accepting and allowing the uncomfortable feelings too because I do feel like a lot of times as soon as we experience any discomfort, we want to get rid of it. And so that is not necessarily a bad reaction as far as like survival biologically, but in the higher like energetic perspective of it there's a reason that we feel discomfort in our bodies. There's a reason that we feel discomfort in our our souls and our emotions. And sometimes when you keep getting things coming up, there's a time where it's going to feel right for you to just allow. And that's been a big thing for me, just allowing. So I've moved through this big process of like having these epiphanies around certain things that I…were coming up for me that I clearly was ready to look at so I could allow it to happen and release. And one of the things more recently was around fear of judgment. And so I had been going through this beautiful practice. There's a lot of shifts that have been happening in my life lately, and I've found a lot of peace and comfort in not judging myself when I have uncomfortable feelings. So even though, they it's not that they don't feel like miserable sometimes it's more just that knowing in the back of my mind that it's okay to just allow this to happen. There's nothing wrong with allowing this to happen and it's okay to have this experience. You're safe. And so allowing myself, the safety around that, which is an interesting word for me, I think safety has brought up a lot of things recently. But allowing myself to feel safe and supported even in really tough feelings has been an interesting process. So allowing myself to experience grief and feel like let all the intrusive thoughts that, you know, happen, like leaving you all these different directions, let them happen with and knowing that this is moving its way through you and you don't have to live in this space, but you can allow it to happen and you can allow yourself to feel it fully and not be afraid that it's going to consume you and you're not going to be able to get back out of it again. So that's, I think, where the safety piece of it comes in. And so anyway, moving through all of these things, that's what I've been practicing, is allowing. Well, I had this kind of interesting thing the other day. So initially when this fear of judgment thing came up, my thought process and my process at the time was this idea of fear of judgment from other people around the things that I talk about or just, you know, who I am in life and then I had kind of a big epiphany the other day where I was like, a lot of this now is me judging myself because I had this interesting thing come to me where it was about, not just it was about loving the pieces of myself that make what I felt like was a mistake. So it was more than just accepting. It was more than just forgiving. Because I feel like I've done a lot of work around that. Accepting and forgiving these pieces. This was past that. It was past accepting like, yeah, I've made this mistake passed I've forgiven myself for this thing that I think I did wrong, too. We're not even going to call it the same thing anymore because you're offering love. That is a very valuable piece of yourself. It's easy to love the pieces of yourself that you feel like have all your shit together. It's harder to offer love, which is a much different thing than just forgiveness. In my mind, it's harder to actually offer love, to love those pieces, and to acknowledge that just because it appeared to be a mistake and oftentimes for me it's generally if like other people are involved or I think I've done something that could potentially harm other people and bringing in that beautiful knowing that like you, you honestly, if you're living in a place of love or just living, if I'm being sincere, you can't harm people on that higher level. People are bringing into their existence what they have asked for. So really, where we're in this like beautiful little soup swimming around together and we, we have to allow ourselves when the time feels right, to not only release but also embrace and love those pieces of ourselves. And that's been a really interesting experience and journey for me because there's still things I'm doing now that my brain is like, That's a mistake. You're going to cause problems if you do that. But knowing the truth of like, we really can't make that form of mistake where we're honestly going to, like, screw up everything because our souls can do this forever. Our souls have done this forever. Our souls will do this forever and have endless amounts of opportunity to experience whatever we want. But there's a difference between knowing that and then actively working on like bringing that into human reality of like, 

Jenn: yeah

Tammy: today I'm offering myself love and I know this is still something I'm working with because this is bringing up some like emotion for me right now. Today I'm going to work on actively loving those pieces of me that I might have found unlovable before or felt like were not correct or that I needed to fix like changing that around the way I feel about myself is creating this like this shift in me that I think is not only an important shift in myself, but I can like literally see the light coming out of me when I do that and spreading to those around me too. Like in my mind, that's part of how we offer sincere love to others in loving ourselves on these levels that we didn't know we could do it. I don't know if that makes sense. 

Jenn: Yeah. 

Tammy: So and it's not like I think that there's this end goal of, like, perfection where, like, everybody is like, perfectly loving everything because we already are perfect and we must 

Jenn: I was going to say, that’s the beginning goal. 

Tammy: Yeah, yes.

Jenn: we start there. 

Tammy: This is all a perfect experience, even if it doesn't always feel like that. And so to me, it's more like taking these, like, conscious, higher things that I have absorbed into my current reality and mind and like marrying them with this human experience. So I can love all of it, including the bits that feel super uncomfortable or super sad or make me angry or whatever. I mean, they're all experiences and like knowing with a certainty that I can't do this wrong is saying it is different than feeling it and having glimpses of that. Like pure love towards myself has been kind of interesting to experience because don't get me wrong, I'm still actively doing things that my brain is like, That's a mistake, but 

Jenn: we all do.

Tammy: Bringing it into my meditations and stuff like that where I'm just sitting with it for a minute and literally just going through my head like I love, I love this part of you. I love this. And it's, it's been an interesting shift. And so I don't know, I thought it would be kind of an interesting thing to talk about today because I feel like there's endless ways that this could go. And also probably a lot of people that would hear that and be like, yeah, we've all had those experiences before. 

Jenn: Yeah. So yesterday I got done with a session and I had a prompting that I did not take, but I'm now going, okay, this is a second prompting, but I needed to record this. 

Tammy: Maybe that's why we’re talking about this today.

Jenn: I was really feeling called to post a video online about loving yourself fully and that you're worthy in every form and every aspect of yourself. And like, I will have to do that after we're done recording today. But it is actually there's a modality called aspectology, which I don't know if you're familiar with, where you're actually looking at every aspect of who you are and the different pieces of yourself that you have forced out of yourself and bringing them back in so that they can be loved and you can be brought back into wholeness. Because what happens a lot of the time in our emotional journey, in our spiritual journey, is that we find reasons to judge ourselves. We find things that are wrong with ourselves, and then we go, okay, I don't want that to be part of my life. So I'm going to push that over here. I'm going to push this piece over here, and we separate ourselves out. And it's the same as like the initial separation us from the divine. Like we believe that we're separate. We do the same thing within ourselves, like we're divinely whole, but we take pieces of ourselves that we don't think are worthy of being part of the whole push them outside of ourselves and then call ourselves whole and perfect because we're only keeping the pieces of ourselves that we love 

Tammy: and feel comfortable 

Jenn: and feel comfortable with. When really the whole experience of finding our wholeness and finding who we are is allowing ourselves to witness those pieces of ourselves that we think, like you said, our mistakes. And after we force them out of ourselves, we can witness them. We can see them more clearly outside of ourselves. And that's when like mirroring comes into play. Like you'll push something outside of yourself. Like it could be something as simple as you're making unhealthy choices and eating like you're eating too much sugar or you're drinking soda or whatever. And that's something that you don't like about yourself. So you push that outside of yourself and then you start witnessing all these people around you that are following that pattern. And you start looking at that and you can, you can see it fully outside of yourself so that you can start to work with that energy and you can start to reconcile in yourself where the judgment is, because you can see it when you're placing it on somebody else, 

Tammy: right?

Jenn: A lot of the time it's harder for us to look at it when it's just an internal thing. We can hide it. We can hide it from everybody. We can hide it. But the second that you start placing your judgment on somebody outside of yourself, you have to look at it. And so in aspectology, what it is, is it's looking at those things that you've pushed outside of yourself and you've started placing judgment on other people and you've started placing judgment on yourself. And now you're starting to witness it. You sit down and I've gone through an aspectology session and she like walked me into this meditative state. And in this state I came face to face with the specific aspect of myself that I was dealing with in that moment. And another aspect of you walks up to you and your face to face with this aspect, and you witness and you say, This is the part of me that I'm seeing. This is why I feel like it's bad. You start recognizing all of these different things and then you say, And I love you, and I've learned this from you and this is how you've helped me grow, and I'm going to hug you back into myself. And then you just grab the other aspect of yourself and you, like, pull that energy back in, in a loving way. And like, it's a beautiful process when you're doing it, when you're able to witness. 

Tammy: Yeah. 

Jenn: And so when you are talking about that, I'm like, it's like aspect ology where you're looking at these different aspects of yourself that you no longer think are part of you, but they are. 

Tammy: Well, in another beautiful part of that story too, is many of our experiences are also parts of things that we have agreed upon well before coming into this particular iteration and when you spend a lot of time running from pain, you you don't get that piece of the break of sitting there, sitting there in the pain for a minute. And I also recognize that this sounds simple and people who have dealt with a lot of emotional and physical pain in their life, this is not to say that this is simple or easy or this is like a fix. This is more just like recognizing how to love and embrace those parts. And also then you sometimes get the really interesting thing where other things start to unravel about that pain. Once you've embraced that part of yourself, that now might sometimes allow you to release things, 

Jenn: Yeah

Tammy: to move through it rather than run from it. 

Jenn: Yeah. 

Tammy: And that's a really interesting thing that happens because, I mean, even scientifically, we have so much research on what stress and emotion are all these things can do to your physical body and the other way around, you know, physical pain also causing a lot of stress, you know, emotionally. And you add that energetic component to it, too. And you can see like how much this is all intertwined. And if you are in excruciating pain, the idea of sitting with it and allowing it to happen sounds like the worst possible idea. Probably, right? 

Jenn: Yes. Yeah. 

Tammy: But I do think there's different times that we are called to that experience and we keep getting called back to that experience over and over and over again because there might be a time when you are able to, when you have what you feel like is the fortitude to sit with it for a minute and you can get different things from it at that point. And yeah, so it's not undermining the fact that people certainly go through some really serious things and might not feel like they can sit with it. And there's times where of course there's a lot of supportive things available. But have having worked with a lot of energetic components with people and also like physical components with people, there's certainly people that I talk to on a regular basis where it's like this thing keeps happening over and over and over again, and they might have already intellectually linked it to other things in their life. But if they're not able yet or they're not at the right place yet to sit and allow themselves to fully immerse themselves in it and then move to that next point where they can not only immerse themselves in it, but they can love that piece of themself like I know that sounds crazy loving pain, right? But there's something really beautiful in that surrender, and there is times when that can move you to something totally different, where you can move through that experience of of pain and you can embrace and love yourself in a way that you didn't think you were able to do before.

Jenn: Yeah

Tammy: because pain is exhausting and running from pain is even more exhausting. But if you've been doing it a long time, that's just your norm. 

Jenn: Yeah. 

Tammy: So sometimes it takes a really for me, you know, there was a lot of kind of big things that moved into my eyesight where I was able to go, okay, this is a new thing for me to, to do. 

So I hope that it's something that people can understand. The message behind it is not one of forcing yourself. It's of allowing, allowing. And it's okay if you're in a lot of pain to allow it feels comfortable in the moment. There's like, no wrong way to do this. 

Jenn: Yeah

Tammy: but even if you dip your toe in and you discover that, okay, I did. I sat with this for 5 minutes and I was okay and I offered myself some love and nothing horrible happened. Maybe that allows you to expand a little bit more and a little bit more to start to fully embrace, like all parts of your experience, even if they really suck sometimes. 

Jenn: Yeah. Yeah. So I'm feeling, I'm feeling called to share because I know that sometimes we do talk about topics that seem overly simplified and like they wouldn't work in a traumatic situation and you kind of called that out. And so, so I'm going to share. So in my lifetime, I've had a lot of issues with sexual assault and like things of sexual nature that have happened in my lifetime and I've done quite a bit of therapy. I've done different alternative therapies as well as psychotherapy, working with therapists, trying to walk through those things. And so when I'm speaking and I'm talking about my experience, I just, I just want people to recognize that I see that there are deeper traumas that seem like it wouldn't work to walk through these things and some of these techniques. But for me, I've done most things in conjunction with while I was doing therapy, I was also doing energy work. While I was doing therapy, I was also working with myself, looking at these different aspects and as I've learned and as I've grown, I've been able to start loving those pieces of myself. The things that I thought were my faults, that I probably couldn't have changed a darn thing that I did. But I've been blaming myself for so long that I've created this thing where this was my fault and I hated myself for it. And I think one of the things that we get stuck in, in the mentality of self judgment and creating this mindset of being a victim to circumstances is that it takes away our ability to reach out and love ourselves or change our mind about, about that separation that's been created. So like for me in particular, there are certain situations that will happen that will trigger some of the old things to come back. And I'll go to that place of, this is your fault because you did this, because this happened, because whatever. And I can now go back in. Even if I still get teary about it, I can now go back in and say, Hey, like you learned this from this situation, like you don't like the way that this situation turned out at that point, but this situation happened And now, you know, this and this situation happened. And you can love yourself because you were able to do this because of that, you and like, I can love on myself and tell myself the pieces that I didn't know at that time. Like, I can go back and it's not like I can correct what happened, but I can change the way that I'm thinking about things and the way that I'm judging myself about that situation. Because a lot of the time there are external factors. There are things that happen in our lives that, yeah, we are creating our lives, we're creating situations so that we can learn and grow. But there's external things that happen that it's not your “fault” like there is no fault, but there are pieces of it that you can change your mindset around. There's pieces of it that you can say, okay, that happened this really, really sucks and I hate it and it's going to make me cry for a really long time. But I can still love myself through that. And this isn't a this is going to fix everything. If I love every aspect of myself that's going to fix everything right this second, like I said, if, if you need to seek therapy to deal with the situation and use these tools, go for it. Like there's different ways to do things. But the main thing is going back and recognizing where you can love yourself in these situations and how you can start to, start to, shift your mindset so that you can love these pieces of yourself back in. Like regardless of what the trauma is, if it's a really deep trauma or if it's something like you tripped and fell down the stairs in front of 20 people and everybody saw and laughed like that's traumatic too, just in a completely different way. And no matter 

Tammy: And we have to compare. 

Jenn: No, no. And you can find ways to love yourself through all of those situations and still recognize that you are not necessarily in control of every situation that happens. Nothing is your fault. It's just recognizing how you're believing about yourself. 

Tammy: Right. 

Jenn: And bringing those pieces back in so that you can be cool, so that you can love yourself. So I, I just felt really called to share so that people understand. Like when we do talk about these things, sometimes I'll do broad strokes. 

Tammy: Yeah. 

Jenn: And I know I've had a couple people ask me, like people who know me ask me like, Well, how why do you think you can talk about like victim mentality or why do you think you can talk about X, y, z thing? Because they don't know my story. 

Tammy: Yeah

Jenn: and there have been a lot of weird things that have happened in my life. And I can talk about things because I have experience, but I want people to know that no matter where you're at, like there's tools. 

Tammy: Yeah

Jenn: there's tools to bring you back to loving yourself and recognizing like, who you are.

Tammy: Yeah, well, first of all, thank you for sharing that. I know that wasn't easy. And I am. I was getting a little emotional, too, because I am, I'm happy I was able to hold space for you and that you felt comfortable sharing that with our listeners. And I agree that sometimes getting really real with all of that is important. I have experienced a lot in my life too, as I know you have, and where we are not coming from a place of trying to put a shiny little bow on everything. Because we do recognize that this sounds simple. This is simply sharing the things that we know are truth. And the truth is, is that we are divine. Every single one of you listening, we are divine and we are love and we are lovable. And the more we believe that about ourselves and the more we allow these experiences to move through us, so we're able to maybe get some power back, which is really, I think, what we talk about a lot, which is we can, we can give away our power and again, not your fault, not anybody's fault. It happens. But there are some times when you're, you're brought to a point where you're like, I don't want to do it that way anymore. I want to see this differently. And then the universe, God, whatever you want to call it, provides and says, okay, if you want to do this differently, here are some options for seeing this in a different way. And then we can choose whether or not we want to move into a different space. And every therapist and everyone else in this world that has worked with people with trauma would 100% agree that loving yourself is a very big component because you have been in situations where you feel like you've lost all power and sometimes you have lost the love for yourself, and any way we can gain that back is it's important, it's impactful, and it's interesting to see how much more people are drawn to your light when your light becomes bigger within yourself, like you, you really can't like, do it another way, if that makes sense. Like it has to start with your own light and it has to start with your own love. And that is what ripples out into the world. And you look around sometimes at the things that people are going through and the things that you've experienced and you can feel, you know, sometimes that chaos and that pain and that trauma and there is an interesting thing that's happened with me as I've walked through some of this stuff and started to offer love to these pieces of myself in a different way, is that people say different things sometimes. Sometimes they look at me even on my tired days, and they're like, You look beautiful. You're glowing. Or like they are called to share a story with me that they haven't shared with anyone before. And I get the honor of being able to witness that and just be there and hold space for them. This makes me very emotional, so hopefully my voice doesn't crack too much. But that's an honor. That's a privilege to be able to get to a place inside yourself where you're like, Not only can I give myself a different version of love and respect and honor that everything I do is divine, but I can create the space for people were ever there at on their path. When I'm feeling it, they're feeling it, too. Whether or not they want to do this next thing of like sitting with it or allowing themselves to sit with it doesn't matter. I can still create space where something feels good to them. And sometimes the good comes from places you wouldn't expect, like realizing that you need to love the parts of yourself that are also maybe not parts you're proud of, you know? Or sometimes we get. I think especially when you are in any type of environment like we are, where we're vocal about the things that we work with, with energy and our connection. And sometimes people tend to view you as knowing all the answers or like, you know, something different or you've reached this like level of enlightenment that is like the end goal. And that's not really that's not really how it works. It's all just a journey. But sometimes what that creates in me is also this need to identify the times when I feel like I have to put out there, like I have, you know, like this put together, like every know all the things person. And really, that's not only something that I am working through because it doesn't really serve me. It doesn't serve the people around me either, because then that's taking away their power and knowing that like I can do these things and that's amazing and I love that and that's powerful. But we all have a role and we all can connect in really beautiful ways. We all like there's connection. I have that every single person can have, you know, like and there's purposes that our souls have set out for that, like, you live in that space and you're like, This is amazing. And then we can all work together to share all of these lovely little insights with each other. It's just yeah, it's just an interesting it's been an interesting journey. And lately I feel that the universe is asking me to peel back layers to my rawest form in order to rebuild something that I truly want. But as we've talked about before too, sometimes when you're still holding onto things, when you're not fully releasing certain things, you are asking to continue in that space of the way things have been. Until you're able to see that love, it, let it go or love it and let it stay. Whatever. You just love it anyway. And, and then all of a sudden you create this extra space within you to see all of these things that you couldn't see before. All these opportunities and all of this area for growth where you can move closer and closer to this thing that you've been saying that you want. so I don't know. I feel like this has been a very interesting adventure and I would not, I would not take back a second of it. I really wouldn't, because the beauty of all of it is not lost on me, and I'm enjoying it more than I ever have before. So. 

Jenn: Yes, yes. And yes. So at the beginning when you were talking, you were talking about the the soup of emotions. And this of everything. And my brain immediately went to what kind of soup I am. I am. I am potatoes. Am I a stone soup? What kind of soup am I? So, Tammy, what kind of soup are you? 

Tammy: Weirdly enough, I had an answer for that when you started talking. 

Jenn: Of course you did. 

Tammy: I feel like I am a minestrone soup because it's generally just like a really interesting concoction of different vegetables. And it's like you can make it however you want, but usually it has a lot of variety of vegetables and stuff and that is what I feel like my life has been and what I want my life to be because I love variety and even the little bits of zucchini that get mushy. I can still eat in minestrone soup that I wouldn't be able to eat normally because mushy zuchinni is gross. And it mixes with all of the other delicious flavors and creates this beautiful, yeah, beautiful concoction. And I love the variety. That's my answer. 

Jenn: I think I'm broccoli, cheese soup. A little bit cheesy. Add in a little bit of healh stuff 

Tammy: greens and cheese

Jenn: yes, that's me. 

Tammy: I love that.

Jenn: cheesy and green 

Tammy: It's so good. Well, now I want to know what everyone's soup is.

Jenn: I know, right? 

Tammy: Of course you always pick that one thing where you're like, I wonder what everybody else would answer. 

Jenn: But I know my brain goes to weird places. There was also a point where you were talking about like becoming the light, and I'm like, I'm a frickin’ lighthouse. 

Tammy: That's awesome

Jenn: I tone it down a little bit sometimes, but then I have to let it out at the end because I don't want us to stop recording without all the weird things that were in my head.

Tammy: No. And I love it when people do interact and they give us feedback on this kind of stuff. But honestly, I, more than anything, I just really hope that if someone could even walk away with a moment of clarity on loving themselves in a different way, I think that that is a great message to share. And again, I am, I, I'm happy in the sense that you felt safe to share what you shared today. So thank you for sharing. 

Jenn: Well, I love broccoli, cheese soup, so- I love myself. 

Tammy: That's amazing. Well, everybody, tell us what soup you want to be or what soup you see the universe being or whatever type of soup. And we really forward to talking with you next week. In a few weeks here, we will be taking a little mid-season break. So we'll make that announcement when we get a little closer. Summer time, you know, lots of fun, busy stuff that people are doing. 

Jenn: Sum, sum, summertime, summertime, summertime. Is that a song? 

Tammy: It is, yeah. You didn't make it up. 

Jenn: Okay, good. I was like, where did that come from? 

Tammy: But that said, I hope everybody has a little extra love in their day today. And they felt that they were held in space with us for just a moment. 

Jenn: Yes. Everybody have an amazing week. We will see you next week in all your Soupy selves. 

Tammy: Yes. Bye bye.

Tammy: If you want more, woo! Please feel free to check the links in the description. Of course we love hearing from you so keep letting us know all of your lovely ideas. Have a beautiful day, our wonderful woo-mates.